My very good friend, Gena, sent me a devotional today that rocked my world. I've been on a journey of spiritual discovery lately. Frankly, it's been frightening. Anyway, the narrative of the devotional was something I related to in a remarkable way. I've lived a life of some faith, but never really had the courage to put it into practice. I desire to be more than just a good church girl. I long to have more than knowledge, which is primarily what my existence has been up until now. One can be full of knowledge but be completely starved of experiencing God Himself. I'm that one. My prayers have been "bless me" and now I realize it's time to pray "expose me." To be honest in the same manner the devotional was, I have lived a life that has required little faith. How much further still will God take me if I surrender my unwillingness? More and beyond is His simple reply. Today, I confess my apprehensions, my doubts, my fears.
I know many people who are dying to live. I am one of them. The old Lisa, the selfish, self-centered, manipulative, critical, half-hearted must die in order that the beauty of God's Lisa may live. "The more we see God as He is, the more compelled we are to give our all to Him." My dearest God has been wonderfully faithful recently to show me who He is and yes, the more I see, the more I surrender. My question of late is not so much is God real, but does He work? My desire is that the answer to both of those questions be a resounding yes, that my life and how I live day to day reflects that. Oh, that God would be the song in my heart.
Gena, thank your faithful dedication to passing on encouraging words, for showing me God does work and loving me because of and in spite of.
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