Okay, so I've been a little remiss in writing for awhile. Life happened and the luster of writing all the time faded away. I've been remotived, so hold on to your socks. Maybe it's the turn of my spiritual journey as of late, could be the huge amounts of coffee I've been drinking, or a little Creedence Clearwater Revival cranked up. Who knows, who cares.
My lesson has been about a couple things. Surrender. Ooo, kind of a scary word when we really don't want to let go and allow God to have the drivers seat. I'm raising my hands going, THAT'S ME! Funny how when you pray for the willingness to surrender, God answers. I just had to hit the pavement on my face and let the sting pass until I realized that he wanted me to let go. This lesson was excruciating. Emphasis on painful. However, I'm on the back end of it now and see what it's done for me. All of this was marked by God's unending grace (my stubbornness was a hallmark too but I won't get into that). Do you want to know what I see on the other side of surrender (thank Brooklyn Tab for these words - they're not mine)? "I don't have to worry, I don't have to be afraid. Joy comes in the morning, troubles, they don't last always. For there is a friend named Jesus who will wipe your tears away. And if you're heart is broken, just raise your hands and say: Oh, I know that I can make it, I know that I can stand. No matter what may come my way, MY LIFE is in your hands. With Jesus I can take it, with Him I know I can stand. No matter what may come my way, my life is in your hands. So when your tests and trials, they seem to get you down, and all your friends and loved ones are nowhere to be found; remember there's a friend named Jesus, who will wipe your tears away, and if you're heart is broken, just lift your hands and say....I know that I can make it. I know that I can stand. No matter what may come my way, my life is in your hands." If you're looking for the song, google "My life is in your hands." Trust me, you'll be changed.
My lesson has been about a couple things. Surrender. Ooo, kind of a scary word when we really don't want to let go and allow God to have the drivers seat. I'm raising my hands going, THAT'S ME! Funny how when you pray for the willingness to surrender, God answers. I just had to hit the pavement on my face and let the sting pass until I realized that he wanted me to let go. This lesson was excruciating. Emphasis on painful. However, I'm on the back end of it now and see what it's done for me. All of this was marked by God's unending grace (my stubbornness was a hallmark too but I won't get into that). Do you want to know what I see on the other side of surrender (thank Brooklyn Tab for these words - they're not mine)? "I don't have to worry, I don't have to be afraid. Joy comes in the morning, troubles, they don't last always. For there is a friend named Jesus who will wipe your tears away. And if you're heart is broken, just raise your hands and say: Oh, I know that I can make it, I know that I can stand. No matter what may come my way, MY LIFE is in your hands. With Jesus I can take it, with Him I know I can stand. No matter what may come my way, my life is in your hands. So when your tests and trials, they seem to get you down, and all your friends and loved ones are nowhere to be found; remember there's a friend named Jesus, who will wipe your tears away, and if you're heart is broken, just lift your hands and say....I know that I can make it. I know that I can stand. No matter what may come my way, my life is in your hands." If you're looking for the song, google "My life is in your hands." Trust me, you'll be changed.
You see, I've had to lose a lot recently to surrender, to really understand that no matter what comes my way, I can hold my head up. It's a pathway that's had a lot of curves, bumps and a detour or two. But, my faith in a power bigger than me holds me up. Sometimes we have to lose everything in order to have everything. I'm so in that place!
One other thing...my son as many of you know has Cerebral Palsy. He's playing on a baseball team. Each kid has a "buddy" and it's a bit of a circus but the kids live for it. I see Garrett's tender heart on a regular basis, but Saturday I went to the game. There were kids with special needs ranging from not obvious to the sort that just tugs at your heart. I saw an innocence on that field that touched my heart in a special way. It's not just because they get to play (although, that's a huge piece) it's that they're a part of something. All of us want to belong, we want to be included and feel like we're on a team of people who give a rip. It is my belief that we often separate ourselves, be it out of shame, guilt, self-depcriation or so on. I've done that more than I'd like to admit. For me, it's often out of pride or a sense of terminal uniqueness. I didn't just wake up and smell the coffee (it was more like smelling dirty socks), my soul was awakened to the desire God has for us to be in His fold. Do I trust my Shepard? Not always (can you hear me hitting the pavement again?). Do I believe His fold is enough? Mmmm, sometimes yes, sometimes not so much. But what I realized is that it is not the company I keep in the fold, but the one who leads it. I often feel like the lamb on the Shepards shoulders...you know that one? She keeps getting lost and the Shepard always finds her.
Life is hard. We end up in places we didn't foresee or plan on, but we never have to be alone again. No matter what may come your way, and it may be a lot, our lives can be in the hands of one who wipes away the tears and brings joy in the morning.
It's good to be back. Dirty socks and all.
One other thing...my son as many of you know has Cerebral Palsy. He's playing on a baseball team. Each kid has a "buddy" and it's a bit of a circus but the kids live for it. I see Garrett's tender heart on a regular basis, but Saturday I went to the game. There were kids with special needs ranging from not obvious to the sort that just tugs at your heart. I saw an innocence on that field that touched my heart in a special way. It's not just because they get to play (although, that's a huge piece) it's that they're a part of something. All of us want to belong, we want to be included and feel like we're on a team of people who give a rip. It is my belief that we often separate ourselves, be it out of shame, guilt, self-depcriation or so on. I've done that more than I'd like to admit. For me, it's often out of pride or a sense of terminal uniqueness. I didn't just wake up and smell the coffee (it was more like smelling dirty socks), my soul was awakened to the desire God has for us to be in His fold. Do I trust my Shepard? Not always (can you hear me hitting the pavement again?). Do I believe His fold is enough? Mmmm, sometimes yes, sometimes not so much. But what I realized is that it is not the company I keep in the fold, but the one who leads it. I often feel like the lamb on the Shepards shoulders...you know that one? She keeps getting lost and the Shepard always finds her.
Life is hard. We end up in places we didn't foresee or plan on, but we never have to be alone again. No matter what may come your way, and it may be a lot, our lives can be in the hands of one who wipes away the tears and brings joy in the morning.
It's good to be back. Dirty socks and all.
Thank you for this post. I'm reminded again of how good our God is to us, even when we don't deserve it!
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