What a week. Sometimes I really love the fact that God continually speaks to me and other times I'd really rather act like a four year old with plugged ears. God was especially poignant this past week, particularly yesterday as I sat through a meeting. The topic was surrender, which of course I'd laid awake the night before with a huge sense of wonderment at the fact I just can't seem to master this subject...nor have I put forth continued effort that creates lasting change. I've always prided myself on being a "fighter" and saw surrender to anything or anyone as giving up that fact. So, this woman from the rooms asked me a great question after the meeting that put the concept of surrender in terms I understand, relate to, and desire to please God in. Imagine that. She was telling me about her very first go around with the first step (for readers unfamiliar, the 1st step is admitting we were powerless over our addiction, that our lives had become unmanageable...easy enough, right?). Her sponsor asked her what the opposite of unmanageable meant. Side note: those of us within in NA are rocket scientists - something's meaning is generally the opposite of it. She responded, logically, that the opposite of unmanageable was manageable. Her sponsor's thoughtful response was simply, MM no. In general, addicts are especially proficient at unmanageable. We thrive on chaos, live for drama, and are generally addicted to most people, places and things. Manageable is mediocre at best. We deserve more. I deserve more. I believe, as her sponsor did, that God intends more for us. Eventually, as she worked this step (and so graciously shared that work with me), she found that the opposite of unmanageable was harmony. To live in harmony with others, with God, with myself. Ha! I get it! Suddenly, surrender doesn't look so daunting, so unreachable. I just have to get out of my own way.
I watched a profound and extremely well done documentary last night on Discovery "In The Shadow of The Moon." It was about the United States accomplishment of landing on the moon via Apollo 11. It followed the lives of those astronauts, along with the ensuing four missions in the following years. I was captivated. I'm not a space geek and really don't understand the whole physics gig, but I love documentaries, love Ron Howard and so forth. Gene Cernan, a NASA pilot/Apollo 11 and 17 member, stated that there was a moment, in the shadow of the moon, that held such ecstasy and excitement, followed by an incredible feeling of a power so much greater than himself. He remarked what a life changing experience it was and that his view of terrestrial relationships, the state of the world, religion - everything was seemingly changed forever. In short, he became a believer. He saw harmony, he lived it and has carried it's message since. At 26,000 mph, a one hundred percent oxygen environment and in a little metal carrier that would go down in flames with the smallest spark, he saw God, he surrendered, he knew in his heart that he had purpose. While NASA rewarded him with a ticker-tape parade and a little patch, God gave him lasting hope, unending grace, and a pretty sweet retirement package that goes on for eternity.
Buzz Alderin said that in the final moments just before the lunar module landed on the face of the moon for the first time, both he and cool-headed Neil Armstrong lost faith in hopes of landing, as the terrain was so jagged. He noted that in guiding the vessel, they faced four simple options: pitch right, pitch left, pitch back, pitch forward. The first three made viewing outside terrain impossible. You went from 100% visibility to zero. If, however, you pitched just slightly forward and kept going, the lunar module maintained course and visibility was 360 degrees with complete visibility. While I believe his statement was not meant to be spiritual, I couldn't help but be blown away by the concept and it's simple relation to my life. Long live NASA, long live the message of hope I received, and long live basic cable.
I watched a profound and extremely well done documentary last night on Discovery "In The Shadow of The Moon." It was about the United States accomplishment of landing on the moon via Apollo 11. It followed the lives of those astronauts, along with the ensuing four missions in the following years. I was captivated. I'm not a space geek and really don't understand the whole physics gig, but I love documentaries, love Ron Howard and so forth. Gene Cernan, a NASA pilot/Apollo 11 and 17 member, stated that there was a moment, in the shadow of the moon, that held such ecstasy and excitement, followed by an incredible feeling of a power so much greater than himself. He remarked what a life changing experience it was and that his view of terrestrial relationships, the state of the world, religion - everything was seemingly changed forever. In short, he became a believer. He saw harmony, he lived it and has carried it's message since. At 26,000 mph, a one hundred percent oxygen environment and in a little metal carrier that would go down in flames with the smallest spark, he saw God, he surrendered, he knew in his heart that he had purpose. While NASA rewarded him with a ticker-tape parade and a little patch, God gave him lasting hope, unending grace, and a pretty sweet retirement package that goes on for eternity.
Buzz Alderin said that in the final moments just before the lunar module landed on the face of the moon for the first time, both he and cool-headed Neil Armstrong lost faith in hopes of landing, as the terrain was so jagged. He noted that in guiding the vessel, they faced four simple options: pitch right, pitch left, pitch back, pitch forward. The first three made viewing outside terrain impossible. You went from 100% visibility to zero. If, however, you pitched just slightly forward and kept going, the lunar module maintained course and visibility was 360 degrees with complete visibility. While I believe his statement was not meant to be spiritual, I couldn't help but be blown away by the concept and it's simple relation to my life. Long live NASA, long live the message of hope I received, and long live basic cable.
Like you, I always associated surrender with "losing." Kind of funny since generally speaking, I am a literalist. The term surrender as defined in the dictionary is as follows: the action of yielding one's person or giving up the possession of something especially into the power of another. Note that it doesn't say anything about losing. LOL
ReplyDeleteThis rocket scientist finally figured out that I can agree to yield my pretend sense of control over to the awesome and loving God of my understanding. My way just didn't work. His ways always do. So I have a choice! I can be rigid and obstinate and leave marks, OR I can choose to do what is NOT familiar and let go and let God.
The fighter comes about due to survival instincts. It's been very important for me to learn that it was okay when it was necessary to fight for survival. I no longer am required to die on every hill though. Real strength, in my opinion, comes in recognizing that I'm over my head and being able to admit that I need help. That's what's so cool about program. There is no I in we. :0)