Merciful Refusals

Many of us face serious dilemmas and choices in life. In fact, not a single person I know has ever escaped this. I know that I've often prayed for God to somehow remove the struggle, erase the dilemma, and allow me to move on. Usually the answer is "No, not right away." Face it, I must. Furthermore, such situations beckon me to my knees and it is generally there that I learn to wait on the Lord. Notice I didn't say patiently wait. Sometimes patience is in my possession, other times it's as absent as a high school senior the Monday after prom.

St. Augustine said, "The very pleasures of human life men acquire by difficulties." There are times with the entire arrangement of our existence is disrupted and we long for a single quiet and ordinary day. My perception has often been that an ordinary life is greatly desirable, even wonderful, in light of the terrible things that have taken place. I am reminded that difficulties open our eyes to pleasures and gifts clearly taken for granted. The apostle Paul said that he had been "very thoroughly initiated into the human lot with all its ups and downs" (Philippians 4:12, NEB). He was hard-pressed, bewildered, persecuted and struck down. God, in His mercy, didn't remove Paul's hardships. Some of God's greatest mercies are His refusals, are they not? Instead, God made himself known to Paul because of his trials, in such ways as to strengthen his faith and make him an instrument of peace to the rest of us. Hard-pressed Paul was, but not hemmed in - God promises we will never be tempted beyond our power to endure (I can't tell you how many times I've doubted this). Bewildered Paul was, but never at wit's end - God promises wisdom to those who ask for it. Persecuted Paul was, but never left to stand it alone. God promises His unfailing presence, all the days of our lives. Struck down Paul was, but not left to die, although some of Paul's rescues were ignominious in the extreme (think of Paul being let down over a wall in a basket to land on a chunk of plywood). Certainly not the means Paul likely envisioned that the Lord would use to fulfill His promises. But on second thought, why not? Absurdity sometimes does us good. It reminds of God's power and most definitely, His creativity. Yes, life can be absurd - on the surface - but every bit of it is planned, just as Paul tells us. "It is for your sake that all things are ordered, so that, as the abounding grace of God is shared by more and more, the greater may be the chorus of thanksgiving that ascends to the glory of God" (II Corinthians 4:15 NEB). Do I sing a chorus of thanksgiving for God's merciful refusals? Does my song reflect the gratitude of a sinner saved by grace? I ought to think twice about asking the Lord to remove the thorn in my side and instead, seek to find joy in the absurdity of it all. God always answers our prayers. Sometimes, one merciful refusal at a time.

Selah