Faith is the first step...

"By His divine power, God has given us everything we need for living a godly life. We have received all of this by coming to know Him, the One who called us to himself by means of his marvelous glory and excellence." II Peter 1:3

Everyday I receive an e-mail with the daily encouraging word from KLOVE. If you don't get it, I highly recommend you visit their website and sign up. It's made a huge difference in my life and has grown my hunger for God's word. This particular scripture really struck me. Honestly, I've been having a bit of a pity party for myself and when I read that God has already given me everything I need to live a godly life, I almost passed out. I kept thinking "How could you have given me everything I need for this? I feel lacking in so many areas. God, what am I missing?" I do believe that I'm one of those people who prays and God answers quickly and in such a way that I generally know it's Him. This is no exception. "Beloved, do you remember when you came to know me all those years ago? Do you recall the change in your heart - even now, I'm taking out the stony heart and replacing it with one of tenderness and passion for me. Do you have your own Damascus experience and have forgotten the power I demonstrated to bring you unto me?" No Lord, I haven't forgotten, I've just let it's power diminish and put you in the corner for awhile. My Damascus experience wasn't when I was a little girl. I came to know Christ at a very young age in my bathtub. It wasn't because of what I heard in Sunday school or what the cool kids were doing. Truly, God's voice spoke to me and I knew then that I was meant to be His. However, my Damascus experience has been over the past 18 months or so. Martin Luther King once said that faith is taking the first step, even when we can't see the entire staircase. I have to agree and say that I'm not sure I've ever seen the whole staircase, nor would God want me to as it would lessen my reliance on Him.

In Paul's conversion moments, I wonder if he thought that life would be okay down the road. He knew he had been changed, he knew he wanted to share that change with anyone he could. But in his heart, was there peace, was there a confidence in God's sovereignty and provisions for his life? Perhaps this is exactly why Paul spent time alone and in the quiet shortly after his conversion. God asked him to study His word and quiet himself. In that time, I believe all that Paul needed to live a godly life was given abundantly to him. Why should I be any different?

My sponsor called me last night and we finally had a chance to talk about the craziness that I call my life. She made a very simple yet profound statement that reached a dark place in my heart. "Lisa, you will be okay. God will take care of you." When I speak of that dark place, I think everyone has it. Some may live their lives with it never really awakened. For me, active addiction was the dark place lashing out. Many times I wanted to die, for the misery that was my life to simply end. Today, I am able to say that I wish to live - and for a purpose that entails a great deal. I actually believe I will be okay and that God is God. He will take care of me simply because of his marvelous glory and excellence. He loves me. I am His child, His beloved, the cry of His heart. My Damascus experience is teaching me that indeed God is my beloved, the passion of my life and the reason I open my eyes everyday. What is happening around and in me is truly for HIS glory. Yes, my character grows as a result of it, but really, it's to demonstrate the power of God. It amazes me that He chose me, He called me by name, He knows my every step.

Fairest God, my faith is small and my heart fragile, but I believe you have indeed given me all that is required to live a godly life. Just for today, empower me to live in such a manner as to please you and delight your heart. For in your delight is my delight. In your love, I have found the greatest love of my own.